Because I care _ I am a proud Jordanian from Palestinian origin. I was born in Amman and I grew up in Hebron, Palestine. I was loved by two capable parents, a pediatrician Ismail my dad and an educator Nadida my mom. I had the luxury of the grandparents’ home, the love of my tribe and the joy of being recognized as a bright child.
In 1976, when I was 14 years old, my father Ismail who supported the resistance movement in Palestine was arrested one afternoon at our home by the Israeli forces. I will never forget holding Moath, my little brother in my arms, the house destruction, the screaming and shouting of the soldiers. And what I will always remember is how they covered his eyes with a black cloth and how my father could not see anymore…
A year later, after imprisonment, my dad was thrown on the Jordanian border. We were lucky to have the Jordanian passport and we moved to Amman and there I lived three tough years... Residing in east Amman away from the grape leaves and my grandparents’ mountainous region was very difficult! I was humiliated on the first day of school by my headmistress at Al Taj government high school because I had my eye brows plucked. I vowed then that I will graduate one of the top ten students in the national Tawjihi exam and I did.
My joy in Amman started with the school of medicine at the University of Jordan. There I met kind professors and I was loved again by special friends. I studied medicine because I saw that it’s a career that will always make you stand on your two feet no matter how hard life is, and how unfair or painful it can be… Medicine will give me a solid humanitarian career where I can help and create small miracles.
An opportunity emerged when Jordan University declared that the Ophthalmology residency program has been started. And perhaps I was triggered then because of my pain as a young child…. seeing my father’s eyes covered with a black cloth losing sight by force. Or maybe I felt that this path will allow me, as a woman, the flexibility of being a surgeon, a doctor and a mother.
I stepped in and fell in love with my studies. I earned the opportunity of obtaining the FRCS in England under Professor Macleod at Manchester Eye Hospital. I had a smooth path, he was a giant teacher and I was his mentee. I lived there with my husband Amr, who is a doctor as well, and our child Yasir. England was a challenge, too many working hours, studying for my FRCS, and very little family support.
Days passed by with a sense of fear that I can’t do it… Then I got pregnant as I wanted to give Yasir his dream of having a brother or sister... I will never forget that moment when I went to face professor McLeod with my pregnancy… I thought like any Arab Woman would: he will be upset that I will become a burden; that I will let him down... Instead he celebrated me and I saw the joy of a father in his eyes... I knew then that I can be free of this sense of fear and I finished my studies to go back to Amman.
I was appointed assistant professor at Jordan University, Ophthalmology Department. In 9 months I was named the head of my department. A colleague of mine resigned protesting my appointment; his resignation was accepted by the Medical Board of the Faculty of Medicine, and the challenge became a greater: a woman, young, and chosen amidst the anger of other men colleagues... I needed to prove myself... But how could I begin? It felt like I had a home and I needed it fixed inside out, the spaces, the furniture, the systems, the relationships… Mending is what we do as women, we are natural nurturers and we know that team work and good relationships matter…The technical aspect of the job was a challenge with minimal resources but I kept at it and in less than two years change was visible.
One day a patient came to me in tears and pain, he said: “I have a corneal transplant operation at a private clinic and on top of 2000 JDs for the operation fees they want me to pay 2000 for the cornea.” Investigating the case, I found out that our Jordan Eye Bank, which was founded in 1979, does nothing about this and has been inactive. It was 2004 and I documented this query and went to Dr Walid Maani, the Minister of Health at that time. He received me and said: “Maha draft law that can put an end to this abusive practice.” I was shocked yet again, but by then I knew that I needed to take this opportunity fast and do it. In few months, Dr Maani got the prime ministry’s approval on a law that allows corneas to be received only by the Jordan Eye Bank and that enforces a system of approval from the source to make sure we receive them fresh and in good shape. It was the law I drafted with some experts in less than a year. We encouraged those who want to donate the corneas to give and today our Bank is a model throughout the Middle East and functions efficiently and with high quality measures: the best in the region.
During my 10 years at the Jordan University Hospital, I saw the youth graduate and come back as specialists and I knew they will become our successors. I resigned from the public sector to work in my private clinic and pursue my dream to create a specialized eye center as a state of art surgical center for Jordan and the neighboring countries. Al Taif Eye Center saw the light in January 2016.
But one key obsession remained like a deep sigh inside me:
The invisibility of my colleague female ophthalmologists …where do they disappear? Where do they go?
Every year I sit on the Jordanian and Arab Examination Boards and I see the most brilliant young women ophthalmologist...then they disappear. They simply exit or remain low key and become invisible...
I am here to call for action against the invisibility of women in our field...We can do a lot:
We need to support young graduates through fellowships and scholarships, we need to mentor and nurture the young generation as they transition into marriage and motherhood, we need to learn about how to transform our most intimate relationships with our partners to enable our career path to unfold. We have to create impact so we create change...
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